Life for rent
by Lothiriel84
Summary: Foolhardy. That's what it had been – right from the start. How could they think that two broken, battered people like the both of them might actually heal each other and form something near enough to a functional family? - Title from the namesake song by Dido.
1. Chapter 1

**Life for rent**

Foolhardy. That's what it had been – right from the start.

How could they think that two broken, battered people like the both of them might actually heal each other and form something near enough to a functional family?

She tried to recall the days after they had caught Red John – almost a year ago. Jane had been so lost and miserable – the purpose of his whole life suddenly taken from him – that without quite realizing it she had found herself kind of making a fuss over him.

Much to her surprise, Jane had seemed to appreciate the fact. Maybe over the years he had come to depend upon her more than both of them had expected.

Their marriage had been about two lonely beings seeking comfort into each other. Love had never been mentioned even once as a matter of fact.

And now there she was, expecting a baby that she actually didn't want.

She felt so bad about that. Especially since Jane looked genuinely happy about his second chance at being a father.

What a horrible person she was for rejecting her own child.

She just couldn't help reliving her unhappy childhood. The sudden loss of her mother. Her father becoming a drunkard – and a violent one too – before ending up killing himself.

Teresa couldn't bear the thought of giving birth to another creature doomed to suffer. Not to mention the fact that she was sick and tired of seeing her loved ones in pain without being able to help them.

Her father. Her brothers. Bosco. Jane.

Was all this ever going to end?

Funny how she kept on calling her own husband by his last name. He never complained about this anyway.

She had never thought that Jane could be so patient with her.

Damn, he must actually _care_ for her. While she was scared stiff about committing herself to another human being.

It was so wrong. _She_ was so wrong.

She just didn't know what to do about it. She…

Ouch, that was painful. She grabbed her swollen belly with both her hands.

No, not this. Not yet. She definitely _wasn't_ ready for this to happen.

As she felt another painful contraction coming, she clutched onto the armrest of the sofa.

"Patrick", she called at last – as loud as her labored breath allowed her.


	2. Chapter 2

"It's done, Teresa. You'll be fine, I promise".

She didn't answer, feeling too drained to utter a single word. She didn't let go of his hand though.

Jane's firm yet gentle grasp was the single thing that had pulled her through those last painful hours – along with his soothingly warm voice, of course.

She regretted not being able to thank him properly at the moment. Had she not felt so weak and lightheaded she would probably be in his arms right now.

How silly of her. She had never understood how much she actually _needed_ him.

Well, now she _knew_ it. And all she wanted was to hold him tightly and never let him go.

"Patrick…", she began in a whisper – a moment before a nurse entered the room carrying something that just resembled a bundle of clothes.

She hadn't even the time to panic. Her baby boy was placed in her arms, and the nurse disappeared out of the door.

Gathering all her strength, she forced herself to look at him. What she saw simply took her breath away.

The baby's features were a delightful blend of both of his parents'. He had blond curls just like his father – and his eyes were as green as his mother's.

He was so tiny and so perfect… A kind of a miracle, in a way.

Teresa felt a sudden rush of affection for her son. She had carried him for nine months, and now he was there in her arms.

_Her son. She was a mother now._

It took her a few moments to notice her husband smiling fondly at them. Surely he deserved to hold his own son too.

She tucked the little boy in his father's safe arms. Jane rocked him gently, his eyes brimming with tears.

That's when Teresa realized there were tears on her cheeks too.

The walls she had carefully built around her heart were finally crumbling to dust. For the first time in years without count, she just allowed herself to be truly happy.


End file.
